August 12, 2018
A a professor, I meet a lot of people who are in transition, so I expect to share a lot of musings about life unfolding. Most people don’t like change. Starting a new class, a new job, a new relationship, or a new neighborhood can make a person feel as though they have lost control. But, control is just an illusion. No matter how carefully you plan, anything can happen. If you are too vigilant about the meticulous execution of your plan, you might miss opportunities that are unfolding all around you. Shift your vigilance by taking these small steps:
- Read the local news. It will put you and your efforts in a context. Ask yourself if there is anything you can use for your own personal or professional growth.
- Keep a running list of people you meet each day and your first impressions. It will help you to be more discerning, and it will force you to explore if the person you met could be the link to an opportunity.
- Know that no matter how much you know, you can’t know everything. There are things you never learned and things that changed after you learned about them. Your map of life may not reflect the actual terrain.
- Take a look at my favorite Ted Talk. It will fatten up your brain. https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story
If you are one of my former counseling students who is in the process of starting a private practice, you may like this rewrite of an article I wrote for the Star-Banner several years ago.
I still have my first copy of Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind, purchased for ninety five cents in 1961. I was 12. Scarlett O’Hara was fascinating. She was a great business woman who foresaw the opportunity in the aftermath of the Civil War. She breathed life into a dying hardware store, noticed what people needed, and bought a sawmill declaring, “…the way people are rebuilding – why we could sell the lumber sky high.” All in a few pages, she had the simple sensibility to analyze the market, balance the books, negotiate a loan and do the kind of front line management that supports meeting business goals. In my business life, I have never learned anything superior to the lessons in those ten pages.
Lesson #1 Be who you are. Don’t worry about discrimination, intimidation, invalidation or condemnation. Just decide what needs to be done and do it.
Lesson #2 If you are willing and able, you’re close enough. Most people aren’t ever ready for the important job, but they do them anyway. While you are waiting real estate prices are going up and the value of the dollar is going down.
Lesson #3 Disregard your age. If you are young, you may be concerned about not being taken seriously. Power dressing, assertiveness, and negotiation skills are all learnable. Once you are involved in the content of what you are doing, your youthfulness will just be a backdrop. If you think you are too old, re-evaluate your context. We live many more healthy years than ever before. If you start and it isn’t for you, you can stop at any point. If you don’t take a run at it, you’ll have a lot more years for wondering, “What if…”
Lesson #4 Don’t try to be a philanthropist until you are a success. If you tend to be generous, start telling yourself that you can give more later. In the start up years, avoid the temptation to give a friend a break by creating or adapting a position for them at your own expense. Don’t give your product or service away. While sampling is a good advertising strategy, a better business strategy is offering customer incentives. Think in terms of frequent flyer miles, rather than giveaways.
Lesson #5 Set firm boundaries for yourself. Your enthusiasm is probably contagious. Friends and family members may approach you with some compatible product or service. Often they will expect an immediate reply. This is the time to build a repertoire of ways to say no. “I’m going to decline that offer” is clear. “Not right now” is an invitation to try again later. “I make it a policy not to…” makes it harder for the person to personalize your refusal. “I’ve already decided (on something else)” doesn’t leave much room for further campaigning.
Lesson #6 Focus on the reputation of your business, not your personal popularity. If you are a natural people pleaser, please people in the form of great customer service, quality products and professional integrity. You may need to learn to cut non-essential conversations short. You may have to adjust to putting business activities ahead of lunch, babysitting, and socializing. People who care about you will understand.
Lesson #7 Keep your eye on the goal. Scarlett knew she wanted money to rebuild Tara. That vision drove all of her decisions. People in the helping professions usually want to help others. We may get a lot of joy from the work, but joy doesn’t pay the bills. Pay yourself fairly and enjoy what you have earned.